tongue-struck and star-tied

dear von hottie,

help! I'm in retarded love with famous people. Mostly I see myself as a witty and intelligent young woman who can hold her own in a conversation or at a party. So why do I go stupid when I see a famous person? I stare rudely, giggle too much, and can't think of a single interesting thing to say to them that doesn't involve "OMG YOU'RE FAMOUS!" I live in New York and have the opportunity to see oodles of amous people, and I don't want to keep sticking my foot in it. HELP!

starstruck

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Dear Starstruck,

Famous people are still people, and while in most cases their job is what makes them famous, this doesn't mean they want to be famous all the time. If you see a famous person out in public , remember that they probably consider themselves to be off the clock, and you should respect that. However, everyone loves a compliment, so if you do have the opportunity to approach them, keep it simple and short. Say something along the lines of "Hi, my name is Starstruck. I just wanted to say that I loved you [or loved your work] in ____________. I thought it was ______ and _________. Enjoy your [meal, drink, shopping trip, day, etc.]." If they are a famous for Reality TV or something that's not directly related to a talent or skill, just substitute "I loved your work" for "I was rooting for you/I'm glad you won." If you must ask for an autograph, blame it on your grandmother and try to provide at least a legit piece of paper and not a gum wrapper or crumpled receipt (Would you want to write on trash?).

Then leave them alone and try not to stare. DO NOT approach them if they are with their families and children as that is a real violation of privacy - not for the celebrity, for the family. I know we live in a celebrity-crazy culture, but that doesn't mean we have to add to the insanity.

Best of luck, and keep your eyes peeled!

Love,

von Hottie