I can’t seem to stop fantasizing about my Fed-Ex Man. His package is just smack in my face everyday but I can’t seem to muster up any words to say to him.
Desperately seeking a Delivery
*****
Dear Desperately,
Oh, wow. Have I been there. There's just something about a man in uniform who brings you presents (a.k.a. important overnighted documents).Just for you, dear Desperately, I did some serious investigative reporting for this one. I waited by the first FedEx truck I saw in SoHo. I spoke with a very cute FedEx employee. Like any good deliveryman, he definitely had something just for you.
von Hottie: Excuse me, have you ever made a love connection while delivering a package?
FedEx: No, I haven't been that lucky.
vH: I have a reader who has a crush on her FedEx delivery man. Do you have any advice for her?
FedEx: She should talk to him. Tell him how she feels.
vH: Anything else?
FedEx: Nah. Just do it.
There you have it. From the source.
I'd also suggest striking up a casual conversation with your FedEx man. "How's your day going? What are you doing for the holiday, etc." Bringing up the holidays is a convenient way to engage him in a conversation while also learning valuable personal information, like where he lives, where his family lives, who he's spending the holiday with (friends, family, girlfriend, fiancee, etc.). All of this is fodder for conversation the next time you see him. Eventually, when he's delivering a package, you'll Priority Overnight an invitation for drinks or dinner.
Good luck!
Love,
von Hottie
p.s. Don't say anything along the lines of "Nice package,etc." I tried it. It doesn't work. Stick to the basics.
1 comment:
oh dear lord! that was hilarious.
i greatly appreciate the forwarding of this and find it so damn funny that my fed ex crush has made itself known to may's wifey. lol
and since you're new (to me), i'll just state this: after a year of crushing on him, i am working on it, in a very serious manner.
or. i could just be bullshitting you. i don't know. ;-)
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