there's a reason trash should stay on the curb

Dear von Hottie,

I'm having a dilemma! I've been seeing my ex-boyfriend on occasion (we live in different cities). The problem is, the more I see him, the more I realize I love him. And now that we spend time together without commitment, I think he likes our relationship better. To make matters worse, he was recently an hour away from me and didn't ask me to meet him or much less call me!

I tried to talk about my feelings with him and he told me that if I thought I was wasting my time, I should tell him. And when I said that was a terrible thing to say, he backtracked and said his response was based on something I said previously.

I really love him and I need to find a way to make it clear what I want from this relationship. My beautiful and extremely talented cousin said I should consult you.

So....Help me von Hottie!

Love,

Forlorn in Philadelphia



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Dear Forlorn,

Sit down, girl, and grab your blankie and a bottle of wine. Actually, forget the blankie and add an extra bottle of wine. You are not going to like what I am about to say.

Here's what it sounds like is the situation: You are in love with your ex-boyfriend. He likes your relationship better because it now involves no commitment. You would like a commitment from him, but you are also not a priority to him, or he would have made the effort to see you when he was within any sort of proximity to you.

I think that your ex is right. You are wasting your time. Any man who does not make you a priority is a waste of time. Boyfriends are supposed to think that you are the best thing since champagne got bubbles, and they should treat you as such. Otherwise, what's the point? You don't need more friends, and it's not like hanging out with him will prevent you from getting cancer or give you superpowers. If he doesn't worship you, why bother?

Cut him off. You can't just stop loving someone but you can stop seeing them, and soon you will find other people to love, people who will appreciate your time and your commitment. Take your bottle(s) of wine and toast to yourself, to your new life filled with people who will be worth your while.


Love,
von Hottie

p.s. Cutting him off will drive him crazy. He may start pursuing you like mad just out of frustration. Don't encourage it, but just let him do it. He'll get over it. And if he doesn't pursue you like mad, you will see exactly what you meant to him, and it will be just one more reason to kick him to the curb.