Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I need bubbly for a wedding!

Dear von Oracle,

So I know that you have had much experience in the ways of weddings and I was wondering if you had any good suggestions of good and reasonably priced prossecos and or champagnes. Ideally they would be in the $8-$12 range.

Let me know!!!

:) B
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Dear B,

One of von Hottie's favorite bubblys is Scu Dò's Prosecco Brut, which usually retails for about $9 at Astor Wines.

Cheers!
von Hottie

Friday, February 12, 2010

von Hottie sneaks her way into Soap Opera Weekly!


Read all about it here.

von Hottie is the Featured Body (fitness blogger) on Social Workout.com!

You can follow von Hottie on her unconventional journey through conventional fitness here.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Save the Date for von Hottie's Valentine Party!


von Hottie's Celebration of Love Ball!
Fall in love with yourself … all over again

No pressure, just love, candy, and cocktails.
Friday February 12, 2010
10pm- 3am
Mary O’s
32 Avenue A btw 2nd & 3rd St.

Festive Attire
$5 von Hottie Valentine Cocktails all night!


Because there are no strangers, only lovers you haven’t met yet: von Hottie will award a special prize to the guest who brings the most friends to the party!


Facebook Event

Puh puh puh pokerface

Dear von Hottie -

I have a lot of trouble with my boss. He's really socially awkward, obsessed with being right, and frequently seems to have issues with women. At his worst he comes off as hostile, bossy, and ungenerous. I have pretty much figured out how to deal with him professionally (just suck it up and deal, and be grateful when it isn't that bad), but my coworkers and I like to play cards to relax after work, and cards brings out the absolute worst in him. He's crabby, gets annoyed when other people aren't paying attention, tells people what to do (and is frequently wrong), and is a VERY sore loser. Of course we have to put up with it because he's the boss. And truthfully we are all friends, this just brings out the things in him that make everyone crazy. I personally am losing tolerance for it and am wondering if the best thing to do would be to just stop playing, even though i have a lot of fun when he's not there. My other coworkers tell me i just need to ignore it, which I guess is how they deal with it, but for some reason I'm having a hard time with that.

- Bad Poker Face
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Dear Bad Poker Face,

It's so unfortunate that harmless activities like card or board games so often bring out the worst in people. I'm sorry your boss is raining on your party parade. If you're not having fun, I don't think you should play. but I don't want you to miss out on all the fun just because your boss is a crankypants. So, when you do play with him, here is what you should do:

1) Ignore his bad behavior. Just pretend like he isn't there. If he says something, you didn't hear it. Don't take him seriously, because he's not behaving like a grownup.
2) Everytime you want to punch your boss in the face, sing to yourself Lady's Gaga's"Puh-puh-puh-puh pokerface." Do whatever it takes to make you laugh so that you can find humor in the situation.
3) Tease him lightly about his behavior. Teasing is my favorite form of socially acceptable behavior modification. Don't make a big deal out of his behavior, but find a way to lightly rib him for his antics. Hopefully he'll get the message that he needs to chill out.
4) Make a rule that the loser has to wear underwear on his/her head. When he loses, your boss will hate it but it will make you laugh.

Wishing you a full house,
von Hottie

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

formspring.me

Dear von HottieIs there a good way to tell someone during sexytime to move it a little to the right or just a little to the left without sounding like a bossy control freak?love,no-my-right-not-your-right!

I take this question very seriously. Sexytime is no time to mess around! Sexytime is also a good time to practice asserting yourself so you can get the things you want out of life. You're not doing it for charity (hopefully), you're doing it to feel good! Also, your partner *wants* you to feel good, so help them out! Just ask for what you want! Say "A little to the right, a little to the left, etc." If you want to get fancy you can say it all breathy so it comes across as a desire rather than a command. If the verbal approach is still too embarrassing for you, take charge of the situation and move your hips or switch positions until they're hitting the right spot. Once you've got them where you want them, do not underestimate the power of positive reinforcement. Show your appreciation vocally, physically, with diamonds, however. You can also reinforce good sexytime behavior by complimenting your partner right after sexytime has been completed on which move exactly did it for you.

Bottom line: Do not be shy about asking for the things you want in life, especially the things that are designed to give you pleasure. Trust me, it's more polite to clue your partner in than to let them labor cluelessly. They will not think you are a "bossy control freak." An orgasm is the best compliment a lover can give, and they will likely thank you for helping them give you one.

What advice do you need?

Monday, January 4, 2010

formspring.me

How does von hotttie cure a hangover?

What von Hottie recommends: 1) Drink water before bed. 2) When you wake up, drink more water. 2) Drink coconut water or a big Odwalla juice. 3) If you think you can get up, eat a bacon & egg sandwich. 4) If you can't get up, stay in bed, drinking water or juice. 5) After your sandwich, take Advil 5) Drink coffee 6) Keep drinking a lot of fluids throughout the day.

What von Hottie does: 1) Forget to drink water before bed. 2) Wake up after sleeping only 3 hours and remember about the water. 3) Try to fall back asleep. 4) Wake up, text message apologies to everyone about the text messages sent the night before. 5) Call a friend and read aloud the text messages sent the night before. 6) Drink coconut water. 7) At 2pm, get out of bed and find greasy food and coffee. 8) 4pm. Get back in bed. 9)7pm, put party dress back on. Try again.

What advice do you need?