thinking outside the bridal box

Dear von Hottie,

Help I’m getting married! Fortunately, my husband-to-be is not the problem. The problem is the dress. I am not your typical self-obsessed bride who has been dreaming about a certain dress her whole life. We want a theatrical and very non-traditional wedding. So the last thing I want is some cupcake-like lacy, bedazzled frock. I have an appointment to look at dresses and a small entourage of women has volunteered to come with me. They have been sending me pictures of dresses they think are me. von Hottie – these are plain Jane dresses and a little too crunchy. Think white, flowy and in a field of wheat. True, I’m not always comfortable in the spotlight. I’m a director not an actress. But at the same time I direct Ionsesco, not the Glass Menagerie! I can’t find much I like to counter their boring dresses. Help me find a dress that is really me!

- Naked and thrust into the spotlight

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Dear Naked Ionesco Bride,

If there's anything I understand, it's a woman in need of some theatricality in her life.

First, we need to stop thinking “wedding” and start thinking “event.” Pretend you’re not walking down an aisle, you’re walking down the red carpet. This will exponentially expand your options (and you’ll still be able to wear white!).

For inspiration, check out red carpet or runway pictures of fashion & gowns at Style.com. To start shopping, you can hop over Shopstyle.com, which pulls a large selection of designs from all over the internet. Another good place to check is Bluefly.com, which often has plenty of fancy gowns.

Also, there are some innovative designers who think outside of the bridal box. My favorites are Morgane Le Fay (feathers! Intricate fabric designs!) and Alice Temperley (Beads! Sequins!). And, if all else fails, Mary Adams will custom design a wedding dress for you, and it will definitely be theatrical.

Happy shopping!

Love,
von Hottie

von Party Dress?

Dear von Hottie,

I'm coming to your party! But I have no idea what to wear! Help, von Hottie, help me!

Sincerely,

Stressed & Undressed


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Dear Stressed & Undressed,

As I always say: a smile fits every occasion! I will be glamming it up, von Hottie cocktail-style, and I would be thrilled if you appeared as my soulmate in glam! Consider dressing up for my party as an homage to your own von Hottness. Or, you could show everyone up by changing midway through the party from your first outfit into something from von Hottie's brand new apparel line, von Hottsie Tottsie - which will go onsale for the first time ever at the party! Regardless of what you decide, just remember that von Hottie thinks you are beautiful no matter what you wear.

Love,
von Hottie

a little concealer goes a long way

Dear von Hottie,

I have a date with a really cute guy tonight, and I've been looking forward to it all week.
This morning, I woke up with a giant pimple on the center of my forehead.
I should cancel, right?

Love,
Blemished and Banished in Brooklyn

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Dear B & B in Brooklyn,

While I'm not sure if the rules are different in the world of same-sex dating, I personally have never been a fan of letting a little blemish hold you back in life. Put some cream on it (I hear toothpaste works wonders in a pinch), add little concealer, and you're good to go. It's really all about attitude. That said, if you think you'll spend the whole night just thinking about the blemish, which will prevent you from really getting to know and enjoy your date, then sure, cancel. But honestly, I think you should go ahead with the date. If this man can't love you, blemishes and all, then you have no business dating him in the first place.

Love,
von Hottie

p.s. A very handsome, very wise person told me once that when in trouble, just apply more lipgloss. It draws attention to the more important things in life.

Too red or not too red?

Dear von Hottie,I'm a girl who has been blessed with big lips (the ones on my face, duh! Don't be dirty!). Although I have always felt rather proud and smug as I pass by the lip-plumping action lipsticks at Duane Reade, I get a bit lost when I try to comprehend all of the options for a full lip figured girl such as myself. Gloss? Shimmer? Can a lady with big lips wear red? Pink? Should I stick to a dab of Vaseline and call it a day? Help me von hottie!

Signed,

Trying to Avoid the "Clown Look"

Brooklyn, NY

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Dear Trying in Brooklyn,

I have two words for you: Angelina Jolie. She’s famous for having a multi-cultural family, an action-packed film career, a drop-dead gorgeous baby daddy, and big full RED lips. You should not be afraid to wear gloss, shimmer, pink or red. The key is to balance the rest of your makeup so you look like a luscious lady and not a lady of the night. For your first foray into the decadent world of red, I recommend Angel Red by Clinique. It’s a modest, muted red for people who do not wear red. If I ever feel that my lips are too red, I layer a thin coat of gloss or chapstick over my red lipstick and smash my lips together, which makes me feel as if I’ve diluted what might have been an overpowering amount of red.

Most importantly though, remember that it’s not what you put on your lips, but what you say with them that counts.

Love,

von Hottie