Dear von Oracle,
i totally wore your underwear last night and it paid off big ;-) thanks.
my x boyfriend is a complete ass, i totally made a silly high school comment on his facebook and he got pissy and unfacebooked me. which was more then fine... but not even a week later he then asked me if he could come to my party... of course i said yes... but he didn't come (cough cough) he got sick (probably from his icky boyfriend in california) but my question is... VON ORACLE WHY WON'T HE STOP!?!? I've been unfacedbooked, unfriendstered, refriendsterd, denied on myspace... but he still comes back like a boomerang. what's his deal?
Sincerely Dizzy in Down Under-wear
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Dear Dizzy,
I'm so excited to hear that von Hottise Tottsie is working out so well for you!
Regarding your ex: yuck! This boy sounds so middle school!
People like this just love to get under your skin, and it drives them crazy if they think you are not constantly thinking about them. You're right, just like a boomerang he's always going to run away and then come back into your life - only to slap you in the face!
The only thing you can do is cut him out of your life, cut off all communication (unFriendster HIM, unFacebook HIM, etc.), and ignore all attempts at communication. Take control of the situation by rising above his craziness and refusing to engage in silly games that only drain your energy, suck your soul and waste your time. You've got bigger and better things going on, son, so keep your eye on the prize.
Just a warning: your ex will probably run around in circles just to attract your attention, but you must stay strong. Eventually he'll tire out like the immature adolescent he is and give up. Good riddance and good luck.
Love,
von Hottie
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